mobileStorm’s New Carrier Pigeon Service Guarantees 100% Deliverability

(The following comes from Forrest Knighton, Senior Account and Support Manager, mobileStorm Inc.)

Leading the pack in multi-modal messaging platforms for small to medium-sized businesses, mobileStorm announces a highly unique plan to bring wireless messaging to every household in the United States, using a controversial but highly effective method of data transfer.

Going against conventional electronic means of sending messages, mobileStorm will do what one analyst considers “a brilliant yet risky move in a highly competitive and volatile marketplace”: Using winged creatures commonly called “birds,” mobileStorm will start offering a seventh messaging type which allows select clients to attach hand-written messages to a ‘bird’ via a small papyrus scroll.

These birds—specifically, carrier pigeons—have the ability to cross vast distances in short periods of time, with no loss of data, no server errors, no bounce backs, and no unsolicited messaging, said mobileStorm CEO and founder Jared Reitzin. Dubbed MobileStork 2.2, the service allows messages of up to three pages in length to be fastened on the legs of the birds, using the company’s proprietary leg taping system called Leg Attached Messaging Envelope—also known as LAME.

“We believe that people around the globe will quickly adopt this LAME technology, as it requires very little in the way of additional hardware or systems integration,” said Mr. Reitzin. “All you really need is a five-pound bag of birdseed, and you don’t need to know HTML to get one of those.”

Mr. Reitzin began experimenting with birds after he observed one carrying a large and expensive koi fish from his backyard pond. His early attempts failed, however, because of his initial use of the hummingbird as the primary message carrier.

“Now that we’ve just about perfected MobileStork, and have flight plans logged in nearly every major American city, we realize that we have the potential to possibly knock Sprint, AT&T, and Verizon right out of the wireless marketplace,” Mr. Reitzin said.

-Forrest Knighton, Senior Account and Support Manager, mobileStorm Inc.

 

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